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Archive for September, 2008

Words.

Do lyrics speak to you like they speak to me?

 

If I hear a song that moves me emotionally, I almost immediately have to go look up the lyrics and let the words sit on my mind, and seep into my soul.

 

There is a handful of songs that I can not listen to without having tears stream down my face because of the very real meaning they have in my life, as well as the grip the words hold on my heart as they infiltrate my ears.

 

Music is a big avenue for me to let loose- in the sense of listening to it, not writing it, the closest thing I write to music is poetry, but I have zero talent as far as instruments go so I am no musician.

 

Here are some of the songs that I have clung to during different times in my life, and here is why…

 

Spur 58 – Majesty

“Your Grace has found me just as I am, empty handed but alive in your hands

-This song speaks to me because of the raw truth of it, Gods grace finds us in the place that we will forever be as humans, empty and without nothing to offer. However, in our emptiness and lowliness, He holds us in His hands.

 

 

Hillsong – None but Jesus

“In the chaos, in confusion
I know You’re Sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will
When You call I won’t delay
This my song through all my days

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope, all of my strength
All my delight is in You Lord Forevermore”

 

 

-How many times have I listened to this song on repeat? Through all of my weaknesses, God always prevails. He always faithfully reminds me of his consistency. Isn’t that something we all long for? Consistency…after all, where else do we experience anything truly consistent?

 

MercyMe – Sanctified

we worship with the sound of broken shackles falling to
the ground.
Sanctified i have been set free grace divine has swept me off my feet.”

-This, to me, is the most beautiful description of a worship experience. During any given worship service, there are so many people with shackles binding them on the inside: self-image problems, addictions, fears, discouragement, anger, bitterness, broken hearts. God wants to be our rescue from all of these things, and the moment we trust Him to be our rescue and truly worship Him, the shackles fall.

 

Phillips Craig and Dean – In Christ Alone

No guilt in life, no fear in death

This is the power of Christ in me

From life’s first cry to final breath

Jesus commands my destiny

No power of hell, no scheme of man

Can ever pluck me from His Hand

’til He returns or calls me home

Here in the power of Christ I’ll stand”

-After Wade died this year, I have had such a hard time with my “guilt” in life. Sometimes, because I am alive, or because I still get to hug and hold onto or even talk to my Dad and Erin doesn’t. You feel wrong for being thankful that you have something someone you love doesn’t.  I’m sure it will be a feeling that never is all the way settled, after all this life is not what I am living for. However, I have no guilt in life currently- because I have been given life, and I try to keep that at the forefront of my mind, and make the life I have count. Likewise, I am not fearful of death. Death, has no hold on me. Has no hold on Wade. Christ shows His power through my life, through the things He can do through me during this lifetime, Christ also shows His power through Wades death, through the testimony still echoing from his wonderful example.

 

 

 

I’ve got nothing left to say, so I’ll end with these lyrics which are currently impacting me….

Jeremy Camp – There will be a day

I can’t wait until that day where the very one I’ve lived for always will wipe away the sorrow that I’ve faced
To touch the scars that rescued me from a life of shame and misery this is why, this is why I sing….There will be a day with no more tears, no more pain, and no more fears
There will be a day when the burdens of this place, will be no more, we’ll see Jesus face to face”

 

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– Waited twenty minutes on gas two days ago.

– SO excited Trav is feeling better, praise JESUS!!!

– A two year olds attempt to say my name puts a smile on my face.

– Dear hair, grow. Thanks.

– I need to sharpen my knife before next weekends camping trip. 🙂

– It almost annoys me how much my dog sleeps…lucky.

– Rain causes me to be lethargic.

– Jim and Pam are engaged! (The Office)

          -Jim and Pam aren’t real……

– There is zero chocolate in my house, what is up with that?

– Also, I’m craving japanese.

– My turtle is still alive, didn’t see that one coming.

That’s all.

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Ok – I don’t always have a topic I want to blog about, so I decided that on occasion I am just going to blog simple thoughts from my mind.

Here’s what I’ve got for today:

– Love the fall weather

– Philosophy of Lord Of The Rings is such a good book.

– Small group in Sunday School yesterday was awesome.

– THE OFFICE RETURNS THIS WEEK! Can’t wait.

– Hmm, the phrase can’t wait is weird, because I actually indeed can wait.

– My day with Jason yesterday was awesome, he makes me laugh more than…anyone.

– This: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FzRH3iTQPrk is so funny.

– I really wish Trav could feel some relief from the pain.

– Mexican food is growing on me, gasp.

That’s all.

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Sting

Remember as a kid when you would fall down and try to break the fall by catching yourself with your hands first? Of course we all remember that. Do you remember the steam of the gravel in the scrapes of your palms afterwards? Although tears probably did not stream from your eyes, the sting of the open cuts being kissed by the air left your eyes watering. The fact of the matter is, the fall could have been worse. Scrapes aside, you could have broken something, hit your head, had far worse cuts.

I think my heart is going through a premature fall. It is still stinging though.

As a human I look for happiness in people. I search for confidence in myself. I long for acceptance. I crave good conversation. I desire what is real, unabridged and completely transparent. I keep coming up short.

I keep having those “gravel in my heart” moments that sting. Really bad. I expect or hope for a certain feeling of fulfillment when I seek all of the above mentioned things, and then when no such thing happens or it is different than my mind conceived, I get sad or confused.

The Lord is teaching me. I almost added to that sentence “so much” or “a lot”, but down to the point: He is teaching me, I am learning, I am listening.

The fact of the matter is, the fall could be worse. The stinging feeling of realizing that you (myself) as a Christian fails to seek Christ for the things I am seeking people for- the things He so clearly lays out He is desiring to fill us with- is nothing compared to the torture my spirit would be going through did I not have Christ in my life.

I love how in my own shortcomings I can learn things because of Christ’s love for me. He is gently and sometimes not so gently reminding me that He is the place I find happiness, He is the place I find confidence, He is the place I find endless conversation, He is the place I find abundant fulfillment.

Today, I am thankful for my salvation. I am thankful I had someone break the fall for me, so that I might be saved from pain far imaginable than the lingering feeling the stinging can leave at times.

Today, I embrace the sting.

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